Today is father’s day, and while I should write about how amazing my husband is, I’m taking a different approach as I contemplate when we should make him a daddy again.
At my childbirth class, the instructor talked about how “baby amnesia” might set in shortly after you give birth (or not). She said how she had gotten it five times and finally after her fifth child, she just knew she was done making babies.
Well, I’m starting to get baby amnesia. And growing up 9 and 11 years apart from my brothers, I know I want my kids close in age since I didn’t get that experience. But am I really ready to go through everything all over again?
If you read my birth story awhile back, you might remember I didn’t have the easiest birth experience. I try to look back and remember all the horrible things about that newborn phase:
- The pain of childbirth…a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10.
- The annoying stay at the hospital with nurses bugging us every 2 hours.
- Using a squirt bottle after going to the bathroom for weeks upon weeks while my stitches healed.
- Feeling like my nipples were being sliced off when starting to breastfeed for the first month.
- Waking up every few hours during the night for the endless loop of poop/pee, eat, sleep, repeat.
- Waking up and thinking the baby is in the bed because of sleep deprivation.
- Waking up with night sweats caused by the dramatic hormone drop and a screwy sleep pattern.
- Going through tons of diapers not knowing if she really peed in them or not.
- Having nightmare days where baby cries for no apparent reason.
- Forgetting to eat due to being so busy with feedings and diaper changes.
- Trying to figure out how to shower and go places, or even get the carseat in the cart at the grocery store.
The list could go on with negatives. And yet, I’m pretty sure I’m writing these things and thinking “It was kind of fun in a weird way.”
I miss that cuddly newborn stage. I miss being pregnant and feeling the movement of a little being inside…it was just so amazing.
Little K asleep on my shoulder, just two days old.
Am I a masochist? Why would I even think about baby #2 when I still have a little one nursing and in diapers? Am I going to turn into Nadia Suleman, the Octomom?
No, no. I do have some logic in my brain.
But, I do love babies. Even more than I thought I would. And Little K has worked her magic to trick us into eventually making a sibling…even if she’s still in diapers.
We have weddings this summer. I really want to have fun at those weddings (read: I want to be able to have some drinks and dance like a crazy woman).
But in the fall, who knows what will happen…but I am SO scared about balancing two. It can be a big enough challenge going anywhere with one. How do parents balance multiple kidlets?
Come back tomorrow for some advice about balancing two I received from my neighbor (literally), Elena of Mommy Is In Timeout.
In the meantime, feel free to amuse me with words of wisdom. When is it an ideal time for baby #2?
i wanted my kids 2 years apart. when my oldest was 15 months old, i was pregnant with my daughter. the 2 year difference is wonderful. i say go for it. seriously. but i’m sick that way!
So good to hear that from you, Melissa. 2 years sounds perfect to me, too. Just double checking with the world I’m not crazy 😉 I have a feeling some folks might have strong feelings both ways!
I just had one child, so I can’t give any advice on the timing for baby # 2.
My sisters were 15 and 16 (YEARS old) when I came along, so I’m not sure my Mom had that figured out either.
I think whenever it happens, the time will be right!
I agree – there’s no perfect timing. And one is just fine too!
I felt very much the same as you do currently. Go with your gut. I was the same age as you when my first was born and contemplated the second alomost immediately. My son was born when Lily was 22 months old. The “trying” phase didn’t take any time-zip, it worked. It was all good… Yes, I (we) were a little more tired, had a little less time, a lot more “acitivity”, but on the other hand, it wasn’t all new. You have more confidence. You alreday know how to shower, answer the phone and entertain the baby, simultaneously. Of course, I have to add, my husband has been a HUGE part of this equation in more ways than one. It has been an outstanding journey so far that has progressed faster than imaginable. Lily’s highschool graduation party was yesterday. Vince and I sat outside this beautiful morning, with our coffee and quiet, reflecting on how blessed we are. The fun has only just begun.
Awww, what beautiful insight. Thanks for sharing, Jill! It’s going to be a bit chaotic, no matter the age difference, I’m sure of that. I come from a somewhat small extended family and I’ve always craved that big immediate family. We shall see what’s in store though…
Baby amnesia is definitely set in pretty quickly for me. That list reminded me of so many times that I’d forgotten…waking up, freaking out that the baby was next to me, the night sweats…I forgot about those things! It’s a juggling act – but one that you’ll love. 🙂
Glad I’m not the only one who felt so whacky during that newborn phase 😉 Can’t wait to post your hilarious insight tomorrow!
Ready for this craziness? My first and second children are 9 years apart. NINE. (I had my first at a very young age, long story.) Then my second and third children? 13 MONTHS apart. I was freaking out my entire pregnancy with #3 wondering how I’d juggle two babies at one time while having another child in addition. But you know what? It wasn’t that hard. I mean yes, it was a balancing act, but it wasn’t impossible. And it was less crazy than I had planned in my mind.
And now? I have baby fever again. I’ll never learn!
Haha, too funny. Good to see you survived, although I do think you need to try for a girl 😉 Ooooh baby fever!
I don’t think there is ever an “ideal” time for a second baby. You just have to decide yes and do it.
You’re probably right. Heck, there’s no guarantee I can even get pregnant again. So many uncertainties, but alas it’s always fun trying 😉