I’m an outspoken person; therefore I am not one to shy away from topics like politics and religion. In fact, both are topics I love discussing, even if friends/family have opposing views because I always walk away with a new piece of knowledge.
So, I decided I would tackle religion today…
I am a fairly religious. Not in the “I’m judging you for not believing in anything way,” though. I think religion is deeply personal and something people have to evaluate for themselves.
For me, it hasn’t always been simple. I was raised in a divided household. My father was Catholic (non-practicing for the most part) and my mom Lutheran. For their wedding, they had both a priest and minister marry them, which I think is really neat.
But then children entered the picture. To appease my dad, my mom went to a Catholic Church, and my brothers both made their first communions. But then life got busy and they just stopped going. Then I was born…and religion started up again. So, I was baptized Catholic. But again, the family stopped going soon after (understandable, I’m sure it’s not easy to go with 3 kids).
As I grew, I started getting very curious about religion. I distinctly remember loving a book called “Jesus was a Carpenter” and reading it all the time thinking Jesus was pretty cool. So, we started testing Christian-based churches and went to a variety of them…Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Presbyterian. I think I even went to a Seventh Day Adventist service once with a friend. As a child, it all sounded the same to me, but I enjoyed learning about the stories in the Bible most.
I had the opportunity to go with a friend on a weekly basis to a Presbyterian church, so I started going to Sunday school with her every week. I started singing in the choir, participating in Vacation Bible School and attending a Christian summer camp. Soon after, my mom got into it.
Then, college hit. I partied most weekends, and therefore, never made it to church. Then I met my husband. He was a cradle Catholic and never experienced a lick of any other denomination. He did his fair share of partying, but went to church almost every week by himself. It kind of broke my heart that he went alone, so I started going with him on occasion and really enjoyed the conversations that followed, which helped bring our relationship to a new, deeper level.
He never asked me to convert to Catholicism. One day, before we were engaged, we had a conversation about how we would raise our children.
Growing up with parents who weren’t on the same page religiously bothered me. For awhile, I felt very confused about religion and denominations – Which one is right? Which one is wrong? – but I have always been a believer in a higher power.
Prior to our engagement, I decided I would convert. It was a long process – with weekly classes for 8 months, but it was a wonderful experience learning more about myself, my beliefs and the reasons for the many traditions in the Catholic faith.
At times, I get awkward glances when I tell people I converted to Catholicism. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m fairly liberal-minded or people think I just did it to appease my husband (which is not the case), but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I want to be on the same page spiritually. And I want religion to be a part of my children’s lives. If they don’t continue along the Catholic faith, that is fine by me. I just want to guide them in some direction – something I was lacking and felt a bit lost about growing up.
We will raise our children Catholic, but I will always encourage them to go where they are most comfortable – if Judaism or Buddhism or a non-denominational church speak to them, so be it. I just want them to feel something and know there is something greater than us out there.
One thing I have learned on my spiritual journey is that all Christian faiths teach the same thing: To be kind, and treat others how you want to be treated. Live by that rule, and you’re golden.
Are you on the same page spirituality with your significant other?
Kimberly says
Religion is an odd topic around here. My parents were Jewish and Methodist, however I was raised Jewish. I had knowledge of the Methodist religion and to please both sides, we celebrated each holiday accordingly.
My husband is Catholic so now I’m finding myself in the same position my parents were in 30 years ago. We have agreed to raise our children with both backgrounds and let them choose their own path.
Mrs. Weber says
That’s awesome, Kim! Two completely different worlds, but as long as you are on the same page, I think that’s beautiful 🙂
Dianna says
Great post – I love your last paragraph especially.
And, girl, if you love talking politics, you should come meet my mother-in-law! (I, on the other hand, do everything possible to avoid confrontations, so hard as she may try, she gets no opinions from me!)
Mrs. Weber says
Haha, I’d love to chat politics with her! I feel like most people around me shy away…I think it’s fun, although I am not the greatest with always knowing what’s going on. It’s actually what attracted me to my hubby – he wasn’t afraid to chat about them either, and he knew what the heck he was talking about.
Bree @ TheMomwithMoxie.com says
Excellent post! I especially love this… “I just want them to feel something and know there is something greater than us out there.” I couldn’t agree more.
I’m more spiritual, than my husband. He really isn’t at all. And, although I don’t attend very often now, I was raised in church, my sister & I sang in choirs, served as acolytes, went to VBS, etc. Heck, my parents met, and were married in the same church we were married in. They, as well as most of my extend family still attend that church. My husband’s family really didn’t do any of that, as he was growing up. His family probably went on occasion, but they weren’t regular attendees.
I’d really like to begin attending church, more regularly, but I’m not happy with the church I grew up in. I don’t fill like my spiritual needs are getting fulfilled. The only reason I’ve stayed this long, is out of a sense of duty. It is the “family church,” after all. So, I’m on the hunt, for a new church, that will fit my family – me, my husband & our son.
Mrs. Weber says
Totally understandable. Start experimenting until you find something you both are comfortable with. Maybe you could attend your family church for big events/holidays, but go to a different one regularly? That’s kind of what we do – we go to my mom’s Lutheran church for Christmas and it works out well.
Sarshie says
Even as a single woman in the dating world, one’s spiritual beliefs are usually something I try to uncover in the early stages for this reason. I’m not a “religous” person, but I am a spiritual one and want to make sure my future husband is on the same page so that our future children are not confused like you were!
Mrs. Weber says
I feel ya, sister. That was something I really admired about Jason. I just knew I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t believe in anything. It’s good to think about that early on for sure!
Jackie says
I was raised in a split household as well… mom was Catholic and my dad was Methodist. I was baptized Catholic and then they divorced and religion was never a big part of our lives.
Now as an adult my husband and I are not on the same page (he’s Methodist and I’m … nothing). Also, I work in a very conservative, Christian company (which presents it’s own challenges). I’ve attended church with him on many occasions but I don’t feel the need to go to feel closer to God.
I let my children make their own choices when it comes to religion. I feel that it’s a personal choice and my thoughts, beliefs, or opinions should not be forced upon them. I will tell them what I think and then let them know that other people don’t believe the same way I do. If they ask I will take them to different churches.
Mrs. Weber says
I think that’s a great attitude, Jackie. I think the most important thing for us as parents is to be open-minded 🙂
Elena says
This is a really good post Lauren and good for you for not being afraid to talk about things. I’ll admit – we’re not very religious. When I was preggo with Lanagan we did try and find a church for us to go to. Even though we weren’t very religious at the time, we both had fun experiences in Sunday school as kids and wanted the same for ours. Unfortunately, we just never found one that fit and now life kind of got in the way. I always wonder if we should try again.
Mrs. Weber says
You’ll do it when the time is right…or, if your kids get curious like I was. It’s all dependent on the kids.
My nephews don’t go to church with my bro, but they go with their one set of grandparents. Now the little guy always asks to pray before a meal. It’s cute and I think is starting to push my bro into exploring a bit because he sees how curious he is about religion.
Jessica says
My husband and I are not religious so we agree on that. I grew up in a Christian household but we never really went to church. At one point I told my dad I wanted to look into other religions such as Buddhism and he flipped out. I don’t want to raise my children like that.
Mrs. Weber says
Too funny. It’s a very personal thing and different for each person. I’m glad you and the hubby are on the same page at least 🙂
StephanieinSuburbia says
My husband and I are both Catholic, but he’s a guy who goes to church every week and I go once a year. When we had Wee ‘Burb, we agreed to raise her in the church if I could choose the church. I searched for a Catholic church that offered a more liberal view of things, and we found one nearby that also caters to children. We’ve been happy and while I admittedly have skipped more than a few Sundays, it’s worked out pretty well for us. And he knows my feeling is that I will always encourage Wee ‘Burb to decide for herself what religion means to her.