Miles’ Birth Story: Third Child Charm

Last Wednesday I went in for my midwife appointment at 40 weeks, 5 days. She swept my membranes for the third time. THIRD time’s a charm, right? I was dilated to 4cm and 80 percent effaced. But where was my baby?! After she reassured me it would be literally a day or two, I went on my merry way and that was that. I was just thrilled to hear an induction had a slim chance of happening and I had made my peace of going all the way to 42 weeks if it meant he would come on his own terms.

Nighttime hit and I went into nutso nesting mode and cleaned the house. By the time I hit the hay, I was exhausted and so afraid of baby coming and me not having the energy. Someone was looking out for me because I got the best pregnant sleep I had gotten in a month. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. with minor cramping and just knew it would be the day.

I made some lists, had some bonding time with Karina while Kinley slept, responded to emails all while feeling a bit off. Then 9 a.m. hit and I had a hard contraction. All of the sudden I was getting contractions 10 minutes apart and then every five minutes. Though they were bearable, I called my mom and told her to come over figuring even if I labored for a bit, it would be nice to have her there just in case. After a few more contractions, I called the husband as well so he could make the 35 minute commute from work home.

I stayed busy with the kids while the contractions came, and they didn’t even notice anything was wrong, which was my goal. I didn’t want to scare them or see me wince too hard in pain.

When the hubby got home, I told him to grab the suitcase and food and we’d better get going. The contractions were getting closer together and stronger and I did not want to feel uncomfortable on the 25 minute drive to the hospital.

Before leaving for the hospital. As you can tell, Karina didn’t want us to go…Ha!

On the drive, I shed a few happy tears: So far, my labor was going exactly how I had hoped — it was happening during the day, the sun was shining, I was in a great mood, and beautiful music played {Enya Pandora is amazing for relaxing}. Also? One of my best friends had delivered a healthy baby boy {her first after two girls as well} that morning. The thought of our little boys sharing a day gave me desire to press on and let my body just open up and birth.

We arrived at University of Michigan Women’s Hospital and I was pretty comfortable with my contractions. I refused to change into a gown when I checked in. I wanted to keep my street clothes on until needed so I would feel like a normal person and not a prisoner. I was still dilated to 4cm, so we were ordered to walk, and I was relieved to just be in my clothes. I didn’t let the number discourage me because after three children, I will say this: dilation and effacement don’t always mean much so DON’T let it play mind games with you!

Getting an initial assessment in triage…in my skirt!

The sun was shining, so we walked outside and got some food. When I realized people may be staring at my ugly face contractions {about 4-5 minutes apart}, I decided we’d better head back up. I was dilated to 5 and they decided to check me into a room.

I had Group B Strep, so I needed an IV of antibiotics before delivery. They put that in and it quickly dripped. I was thankful it was a quick process because I did not want an IV in unless absolutely needed.

After that, my water broke {uneventful because I didn’t even notice – ha!}, and I was free to get in the tub. I was thrilled they had an open tub room because I had used my bath at home to meditate my way into what I wanted my birth to look like. Everyone left me alone while I was in there and I was thrilled to be able to {sort of} relax and get myself where I wanted to be mentally. When requested, Jason helped rub the small of my back and put pressure on my hips as I laid over a waterproof pillow. I felt my body opening. After a few hard contractions, I instinctively was pushing in the tub.

Don’t let my smile fool you…I was in a lot of pain at this point! I drank a TON of water and tried to go to the bathroom as much as possible during labor with the hope that relaxing my pelvic muscles would help my labor. Additionally, I needed the water since I chose not to have an IV.

The nurse called the midwife in to check me again. I was at a 7. After, I had two VERY hard contractions and was contemplating an epidural, against my mental birth plan. The nurse paged the midwife to let her know what I was considering.

Then, I had the urge to go to the bathroom, so I got up. While on the toilet {I know, lovely}, my body said PUSH. Oh no. I’m only at a 7… Regardless, I let my nurse know “I need to push, now!”

Jason says the nurse looked pretty nervous when I said that, so a few other nurses flooded in to help get me over to the bed and prepped for delivery. My midwife checked and sure enough — I was at a 10. I literally went from a 7 to a 10 in a matter of minutes with the help of those very painful contractions.

Even though I knew the answer, I asked anyway…”Can I get an epidural?” No way — I was way too far. Everyone cheered me on to let me know I could do it — my body was ready. For some reason or another, I believed them and told my brain it better not tell me I can’t.

Much to my surprise and delight, my primal instincts took over. I channeled women throughout history — women who birthed holding trees. Women who birthed while squatting over hay. Women who waited days for babies to arrive without an ounce of modern medicine.

I could feel his body starting to come out, and his head descend with each powerful contraction. Once he was crowning and I could feel the ring of fire, they let me feel his head and that helped me focus on breathing and letting my body open up. Part of the midwife approach is to let your body slowly open as they massage and hold the vagina. This was very important to me after experiencing two horrible — and in my mind — completely unnecessary 4th and 3rd degree episiotomies {cuts} by doctors.

The team helped me breathe, and also told me not to scream but to let out low moaning. I felt like a male opera singer, but LORD. It helped me sooooo much! I wish I knew this trick in the past.

All of the sudden, after about 10-15 minutes of pushing, he was completely out. They placed him on me and praised me, making me feel like I just climbed a mountain and finished a marathon all at once. I held him for a long time skin-to-skin as we let the umbilical cord stop pulsing before cutting it.

The moment I met my son for the first time. Up there with the best moments of my entire life.

I braced for the placenta pushing and the assessment of damage. I tore, but only to a 2nd degree. Pretty amazing for birthing a large baby. {My girls were 9 pounds, 1 oz. and 9 pounds, 2 oz.} As they stitched me, I focused on starting to nurse him and laughed because he swung his head right to my breast. So amazing!

We all took turns guessing his weight, but we were all too low. He was 9 pounds, 12 oz. They were amazed, and he won the honor of being the biggest baby born that day. I hugged my midwife and nurse and cried telling them they made my birthing dreams come true.

All I kept thinking was the third time was a charm for me. After two births with medical interventions that left me feeling like a failure, and two different doctors telling me I should elect for a c-section due to me making large babies {which had absolutely NO scientific back-up}, I finally had the POSITIVE birth I envisioned my entire life.

Mamas, don’t EVER give up on the notion that your body can’t have a natural birth. Having my ideal birth has been so healing for me, and it doesn’t hurt that I received one of the best gifts God has ever sent me: A healthy, sweet, wonderful baby boy.

World, meet Miles.

Thank you to my friends who have told me about their natural birth experiences and gave me hope that I could do it, too. I am also thankful for the work I do managing social media accounts for a local midwife team and gynecologist. I have learned SO much working with them. The links I included are from my own research and are from trusted sources. 

Kinley’s Birth Story

Karina’s Birth Story

I hope to do a follow-up post about natural childbirth with great tips I learned and applied during my labor soon, so stay tuned!