12 Tips for Natural Childbirth {One Mom’s Experience}

Birth sticks with a woman, remaining in her bone and her flesh as an embodied memory long after the baby has left her womb. – Pamela E. Klassen

When I posted on my Facebook that Miles was born, I contemplated whether or not I should add that it was a drug-free birth. I went back and forth, hoping it wouldn’t come across as bragging, since lord knows us moms need to feel inferior about something else.

I asked the husband, and he said after all I went through during my first two labors, I deserved to brag. So I did it. Because you know what? I am damn proud. Proud my body, heart and head finally aligned for our third and final baby.

After two traumatic births, I finally have a story I am proud to share. Before this, when I thought of my births, I had a bit of hostility…Why didn’t my body just allow birth to happen? Why did an epidural not provide me relief? Why did I need the vacuum during my first birth, pitocin during my second, and painful episiotomies both times when most women are able to avoid these medical interventions? Of course, I was elated when my girls arrived healthy, but thinking of the entire process, I felt bitter, especially as I grew more educated about birth.

These factors are one of the reasons I chose a midwife for my third baby {in a hospital setting}. After studying what they do different, I knew that would be the route I should go to avoid having a repeat of my first two births where I didn’t feel in control at all.

During my first meeting with my midwife, I spoke nervously to her about my past birth experiences and she suggested I had postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder and should consider talking to a therapist. I am not above seeking help when needed, but I knew I could overcome my birthing fears on my own if I educated myself more.

Having a natural birth was such a healing process for me, so I want to share 12 things I did differently this time around.

12 TIPS FOR NATURAL CHILDBIRTH

1. Relax, relax, relax! Easier said than done, I know. When my midwife said she would let me go until 42 weeks, I had a mini meltdown in my head knowing I make 9 pound+ babies and they just gain weight in those final weeks. But I knew that freaking out was not going to make my baby come faster and him arriving healthy was my first priority. Though it pained me, I tried to roll with each passing day over my due date and remember this analogy: the fruit falls from the tree when the vine is ripe.

2. I focused on positive thinking. After three births, I will say this: So much of birth is mental. Staying positive and thinking of my body opening up to birth really helped me. I even started meditating to put myself in a positive place every day. {I know it sounds so hippie, but I really started enjoying it!} Yes, so much of birth is out of our control, but trying to remain positive is crucial.

3. I read every natural birth story I could find. I scoured the internet looking for natural birth stories, especially of ones of women who experienced traumatic births in the past. I found strength in each one I read. If these women can do it, so can I! This story was one I looked at daily for inspiration. Also, Ina May Gaskin’s book The Guide to Natural Childbirth was an incredible read that gave me so much hope.

4. I practiced controlled breathing. Remembering to breathe through contractions sucks and I didn’t do it well the first two births. This time I just tried to relax through my pain and focus on breathing and putting my mind in a happier place {thinking of my baby and what he might look like} versus thinking of the pain I was experiencing. I requested lots of coaching when I was in triage, so my nurse was wonderful at helping to calm my breathing when I started to get anxious from the pain.

5. I allowed gravity to work in my favor. Look at any drawings of women birthing in earlier times, and you will see one universal thing: Not a single woman birthed laying down in a bed. Honestly, it goes against nature! I tried to walk  while I labored and stood up during contractions as much as possible, gripping a door or the side of my bed. I truly believe this was the reason I was able to get my baby to descend much better than my previous births.

6. I didn’t let numbers discourage me. Dilation and effacement can honestly mean jack. I was dilated to a 3 for weeks my first pregnancy and still went 5 days over my due date. This time I was 90 percent effaced and dilated to a 4 for about a week. Then, at the hospital, I was at a 5 forever, and jumped to a 10 within an hour. Moral? Don’t pay too close of attention to numbers. In fact, if you are the strong type, don’t even have your doctor or midwife tell you them at all.

7. I envisioned the birth I wanted constantly. I took time every night before bed to picture the labor I wanted — a quick, yet controlled one.

8. I got into the tub during labor. I wasn’t sure if I would want to birth in the tub or not because it didn’t sound appealing to me the first two times around, but I wanted to try. Coincidentally, I got into the tub right around the time my contractions starting intensifying. Squatting in the tub and holding onto the side helped relieve some of the pain {this method is called the “midwife’s epidural”}. Being in water also helped me relax and get into the mental state I needed for pushing.

9. I had my partner help. I gave my husband explicit directions each time I had a contraction. Most of the time, I had him either press firmly down on my hips {a method to try to get them to open up}, rub the small of my back, applying a lot of pressure, or put a cool wash cloth to my forehead. It was a tremendous help! Other times, I didn’t want to be touched, and that was OK with him, too.

10. I listened to music during labor. The Enya station on Pandora was AMAZING. I had listened to it a lot at home while meditating, so getting into the tub at the hospital and listening to the same music help trick my mind into thinking I was home. Also, while I was pushing, Canon in D came on, which was awesome since I walked down the aisle during our wedding to that song. It really helped me to focus on the joy I was about to experience when meeting my son for the first time.

11. I drank water during labor. Gone are the days women are only allowed ice chips during labor. Thank the lord because I was thirsty! Drinking water kept me hydrated since I didn’t have an IV of fluids. I loved that it forced me to get up to use the bathroom {bonus for gravity}, and the act of urinating helped my body to relax my pelvic muscles, helping to pave the way for baby.

12. I didn’t consider medical interventions as options. I wouldn’t let them cut me again. I wouldn’t let them use the vacuum. I was in control this time and capable of saying no. Women need to be advocates for their own birth, and I made sure to put my mind in a place where I could shout “No!” if anyone said they were going to do something I did not agree with. {Another reason I chose a midwife was for their low records for episiotomies.}

I’m a big believer that all of these items combined were crucial in making this my best birth possible. If you don’t want a natural childbirth, that’s just fine too! ALL births are beautiful.

I just want everyone know that it can be done, and educating yourself beforehand is a big part of helping it to happen. I am an average sized woman, and if I can push out a large baby with a 99th percentile head, you can too!

Natural childbirth is not about being a super hero…It’s about doing what exactly our bodies were designed to do. Girl power 😀

What tips helped you during labor? Let’s help our fellow mamas!