The Decision To Delay Kindergarten {From A Parent Of A Kindergartener}

One thing about being a parent is the insane amount of second guessing that goes into a day — whether it’s about food, discipline, or something major. We are all guilty of challenging our instincts, right?

One battle I have stewed over for the past few months was whether or not to send my middle daughter to kindergarten next year. For a hot second, I considered it, especially since she has had two years of preschool. But I ultimately decided to hold her back and do full day begindergarten instead.

Despite the road we’ve travelled with a speech delay, sensory processing disorder and more, her preschool teacher felt she was ready. Her OT encouraged it. After evaluations, including an IQ test, she proved she is academically on par for her age. But socially and emotionally? I just know in my mama heart she isn’t quite there when compared to her peers.

Fortunately, we are lucky to live in a school district where begindergarten {BK} is available, so why pressure her when she would be among the youngest in her class with a late July birthday?

My oldest is in kindergarten now, so I am familiar with the curriculum. She is an October birthday, so she turned 6 immediately after starting school. I feel she has avoided a lot of the typical girl drama, or at least not been bothered by it thanks to being on the older end. Maturity goes a long way when you’re trying to figure out which circle you belong to — even as early as kindergarten.

She’s also emotionally able to handle the academic pressure kindergarten brings. Kindergarten isn’t the play group it was in the 80’s. Teachers have to make major progress during the year, so students are expected to come ready to sit, listen and learn.

Sure, there are parts of today’s kindergarten that don’t sit well with me. I am saddened by the little amount of time kids have to just play. I dislike the large classroom sizes and that teachers don’t have a ton of one-on-one time to work with the kids that struggle. It’s unfair, but until money comes pouring in for aides or more parents step in to help in the classroom, I don’t see it changing.

I do think children are sponges, and I’ve been astonished with what my oldest has come home being able to do. On a daily basis, I gauge her happiness by her attitude when she steps off the bus, and it is almost always positive. Is it due to her age? Maybe not. But I have to think it plays a role.

Obviously the case to delay kindergarten is very personal, and everyone makes it for different reasons. These are the considerations that went through my brain:

• Confidence. My gal is confident now…But she is terribly hard on herself and I know I will see plenty of issues pop up if she is struggling academically.
• Change is hard, and BK is a stepping stone. Going from a few days of preschool to riding the bus to all day/every day kindergarten is a huge leap. BK offers enough of a step up from preschool but without the academic pressure. Also, more down time and a more snacks, which is vital for some kids.
• This fact: Delaying kindergarten for one year reduced inattention and hyperactivity by 73% for an average child at age 11 {link to article}
• Age. Currently, 20% of kindergartners start at age 6, and that number is growing. She will be older, but likely not the only older one.
• Puberty. Nobody wants to be the last to develop, right? Being almost a year behind some peers may make that happen {it was the case somewhat with myself as a June birthday}.
• Going to college at barely 18. I remember {most of} college. There is a lot of social pressure in every form, especially from boys. I hope a bit more maturity could help her make the best decisions.

Are these considerations appropriate for every family? Absolutely not. In fact, “redshirting” does have some negatives. Will I know if I’ve made the right choice right away? Nope.

All I know is the gift of time is not one we can get back.

Did you delay kindergarten with your child? Why or why not?