Supermom Sometimes

One thing I hear a lot from friends that don’t know me very well: “You are such a supermom! How do you do it?”

Confession: I don’t. At all.

You see, what you may see is a put together mom. I’m organized. I balance a few jobs. I show up {mostly} on time. I respond to messages quickly. I help where I can.

But what you may not see are the days we struggle to get out of the house. The days I shed a few tears because my kids’ behavior is THAT bad, or I’m just plain frustrated with how kids can really ruin a day if you let them.

Certainly any cute family photo we have took a bit of cajoling…Believe me! 

Admittedly, I’ve spanked my kids, even though I know it doesn’t help. I often feel guilty that I’m feeding my kids too much sugar, which I probably am. I pay my own mother to help me clean my house because I can’t keep up on my own, and it gives me peace of mind. I can be a flaky friend at times, and I despise that quality in others.

I’m so far from perfect it ain’t even funny. So it makes me sad when people assume I am mom of the year based on things they see me post about on social media, and start comparing themselves. Because the truth is — NONE of us are perfect — and anything on Facebook is simply my highlight reel. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, so it would get really old if I posted daily about the ugly parts of my day, too.

I like to say I am Supermom Sometimes. Sometimes I have it together and I feel like a million bucks, other days I take a ride on the struggle bus.

When I feel that thief of joy — comparison — start to creep up in my own mind, I remind myself I have ZERO clue what another mom is going through behind the scenes. Maybe she’s having a great week. The next week it may all go to crap, but those are the times we’re typically away from social media because we’re putting out fires for our kids.

Instead of focusing on the negative, try to remember there may be something going on behind the scenes you don’t even know about.

Here are some alternative ways of thinking when you feel like you aren’t enough:

~ That mom you see working out for the fifth time in a week?

Maybe it’s because her mom is dying from cancer and working out is her coping mechanism.

~ That mom you see laughing and drinking with friends on a night out?

Maybe she has a special needs kid and needs that outing with friends to feel sane again.

~ That mom going on all those nice vacations?

Maybe she’s a full-time working mom who feels nothing but job pressure and kid pressure and earned the time away.

~ That mom you see grabbing all healthy things at the grocery store while you stock your cart with junk you know the kids will eat?

Maybe her child was diagnosed with ADHD and she is trying to cut out artificial colors before considering medication.

~ That mom that always has the coolest Pinterest-worthy parties?

Maybe she just really enjoys getting crafty and doesn’t have an outlet since becoming a mom.

~ That mom that works in the classroom at least once a week?

Maybe she works midnights and coming to the school is the only time she can see her kids.

~ That mom that always looks put together?

Maybe she is a hair stylist during school hours and has to look good for her clients.

~ That mom that posts a million times a day about her children and how amazing they are?

Maybe she never felt loved growing up and wants to do better for her kids.

~ That mom that is always doing fun things with her kids?

Maybe it’s because the child’s father isn’t in the picture and she wants to do everything in her power to be both a great mom AND dad.

~ That mom who has a super clean house?

Maybe she needs it clean to not feel anxious. Maybe she has a cleaning lady. Maybe if you visited at a different time of day, you’d see the mess 😉 {Hint: Me!}

Does there *need* to be a reason a mom does the things she does? NO. But when you start to look at each scenario differently, you can see how we just never really know what’s going on behind the scenes. A true Supermom doesn’t exist.

Instead of dwelling on perfection, LET.IT.GO. Give love to your mom friends where it matters: Be there. Listen. Don’t assume anything. And most of all, be gentle with yourself.

Remember: It’s OK to say no, do things at your own pace, and give yourself permission to let go of things that don’t feed your soul or help your family.

Be a Supermom Sometimes, but don’t worry if you totally fail some days. Mostly, we just have days where we’re simply mom without the ‘super’ title and that’s OK, too.

via GIPHY

Do you get called a supermom? What do you say when you hear it?