I thought bedtime was supposed to get easier as kids grew older…
The kids shower themselves, clip their own nails, and get ready for bed with just a few bits of prompting.
But bedtime is a whole hour-long adventure these days and I have much less time to myself now than I had when they were little.
Nobody warned me about this in between phase.
Maybe because those of you in this no-longer-have-babies but not-quite-teens phase are in the thick of it, too. There’s not enough time to process things before moving on to the next task or chauffeuring kids to the next destination.
Gone are the days when I could relax after bedtime…Because my kids stay up almost as late as me. Tiredness creeps on me faster than them most days, and I find myself heading to bed to read as soon as the last “I love you” is spoken.
The night is when my kids’ hearts burst open. It’s the time they ask me the tough questions and say the most meaningful {and sometimes heartbreaking} things. It’s when they tell me about bullies and ask about puberty.
It’s when the questions about how to handle friend drama, or what a certain acronym means, come out. Many times they ask the big questions that nobody can answer. So we contemplate together and occasionally Google helps us solve a burning mystery.
I listen, and offer advice if it’s needed. I try my best to toe the line of giving them the space and time they need to talk but also know they *need* sleep.
I encourage them to tell me if it may be a chattier night so we can head upstairs early and have ample time to get out the thoughts that don’t come until their brains and bodies are finally settled.
This phase of in-between parenting is taking me new places mentally, and I am here for it. I adored the tiny tot phase of books and songs before bed, but there is something to be said about this sweet spot of great conversation, too.
Something I have learned is that the best discussions with our kids happen at inconvenient times. So when you are able to drop everything to listen, you must make it happen, because you never know if/when they may choose to stop coming to you. But if you continue to leave the door open, chances are they won’t stop…because those small moments in your mind were the big ones to them.
Time is fleeting, and this phase, like many before it, will fade into another soon enough. Make time to cherish the in-between.
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