Letters To My Children Archives - Mrs. Weber's Neighborhood

The Power of Touch And How It Has Transformed My Family

I wanted to write about something I’ve pondered a lot during the past year, and perhaps it will resonate with you as well. Today I’m highlighting the power of TOUCH, and how changing my mindset has brought about positive changes in my household.

Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language, and the last, and it always tells the truth.
– Margaret Atwood

Growing up, I craved physical touch. I have vivid memories of curling up on my mom while she napped because I needed to be close. Touch wasn’t her primary love language, but that didn’t stop me from asking for affection any chance I got, especially when my dad was working nights. I found a way to meet my need, but it wasn’t always with open arms.

Once I was dating, I got a lot of self-worth from touching and PDA. In fact, my hubby and I scored a 100% for physical touch during our marriage class, which we still laugh about.

{If you aren’t familiar with the book the Five Love Languages, check it out or just take the quiz!}

But somewhere during my parenting life, my love language shifted and I stopped needing and giving touch as much.

As parents, we have very few opportunities to *not* be needed, right? My guess is that constantly ‘tapped into’ feeling had taken its toll and altered my love language. I finally understood why my own mother, who often parented solo, wasn’t always up for cuddling.

Yet, science shows children with more affectionate mothers grow up to be happier, more resilient, and less anxious adults. This notion lit a fire within me, and I set out to re-frame my thinking and do better for the sake of my family.

After listening to the audio book the 5 Love Languages of Children, I reflected on my children’s behavior and the issues we face daily.

Having two out of three children who are sensory seekers that crave movement, something clicked: They NEED my physical attention more than a few times a day. Just like I did as a kid.

So I began my “touch project.”

How I Incorporated The Power of Touch

For the past several months, I’ve been making a conscious effort to touch my favorite people more — beyond just a hug and kiss in the morning and at night.

With my kids, I try to sneak in more cuddles, touch their arms while reading, give them a long hug once home from school, play a game we call “hug monster” and wrestle more {though that is more my husband’s speciality}.

My 5 and 7-year-olds eat it up…They both crave it. My 9-year-old is more reserved, but I know she also needs it {and will even when she’s a teen}.

I make the effort even on the days they act like they don’t care because I remember being that little girl craving touch so badly, and I know the importance of it as they develop relationships with others. I want them to be comfortable giving and receiving affection, which already doesn’t come easy to them.

For my husband, I try to make sure we get in some quality hugs and kisses during the chaos of our limited time together Monday-Friday, and we do our best to have a night together without interruptions {or phones} on the weekend. When we watch a show, I sit next to him, and not on an opposite couch.

When I volunteer at my kids’ school, I’m happy to give hugs to whichever child asks for them. I’m always surprised at how many children I don’t even know ask for them too. Maybe it’s because I’m a familiar face and have a friendly vibe…but I suspect it’s really just because all children need love. {Bless our teachers who are hugged OFTEN. I can’t imagine the ‘tapped out’ feeling they must feel some days!}

For the students I know are more reserved, I offer high-fives or a pat on the back. Kids need to feel that love and support not only from parents, but other adults, too!

Conclusion

This experiment has taught me hugs and affection are SO important in our relationships. I have seen such a positive difference in our home and my personal life just by incorporating more emphasis on touch.

It’s so easy to get bogged down with life’s tasks that we simply forget how powerful these simple gestures are.

I encourage you to take the time to give someone you love a few daily squeezes and sit back and watch the difference unfold.

Check out these articles highlighting the science behind the power of touch:

Keep me posted if you conduct your own ‘touch experiment‘ in your home — I’d love to hear if it makes a difference!

To My Daughter On Her Ninth Birthday

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Dearest Kinley,

There is a quote I recently read that made me think of you:

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” – Stephen Hawking

When I read that, I immediately thought of you. You, my quiet little love bug, most certainly have one of the loudest minds out there, and I have learned some much in the short time you’ve been with me on this planet.

Nine years ago, I gave birth to a 9 pound, 1 ounce girl. My life changed the instant they laid you in my arms.

Today you are nine.

For you, being nine means being independent and responsible but knowing mom and dad are still there for cuddles when feelings get hurt.

Being nine means pre-puberty and the sass {especially about clothing!} and sometimes hard life lessons that come with it.

Being nine means deeper conversations and endless questions on topics that are reserved for adults.

Being nine means not being able to spell things out, sugar coat, or use secret sarcasm because all of that has been exposed and you know how to read us.

Being nine is being a trusted tween. You’re not quite a teen, but getting farther and farther from being labeled a ‘little’ kid.

Being nine ROCKS, and dad and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for your future because we sure know it’s going to be bright.

A bit about who you currently are…

Your passion for nature, science, math, reading, and sports hasn’t dissipated even in the slightest. This year, you have definitely realized other kids don’t necessarily like bugs and the odd things you get excited about, but you don’t care. You love spouting out ‘fun facts’ about animals and nature, and your mind amazes us with its ability to retain info. I love watching you inspire kids around you to take time to enjoy the great outdoors, too. Seeing you come alive with your passions makes you SHINE.

I often call you the quiet leader because that’s what you are. You may be quiet, but you don’t let others sway you, and you’ve always been strong with your passions. I promise to try my best as a parent to make sure that fire stays alive forever.

You read the entire *Diary of a Wimpy Kid* series this summer. You love books and always read before bed…sometimes a little too late into the night 😉

In fact, dad and I have been chuckling that your birthday presents this year sum up exactly who you are: A bow and arrow to honor your love of the outdoors and survival skills, and getting your ears pierced…because you’ve always had a side that keeps us guessing. We never would’ve pegged you as a kid that would want that done {girly girl stuff is still not your thing}, but we are glad you faced your fears.

This truly has been a year full of growth and bravery, and I am beyond proud of you for continuing to step outside your comfort zone. Stats show a girls’ confidence drops by 30% between the ages of 8 and 14, and I’m hopeful that if you keep along the path you’re blazing, you will soar.

This year, you made your First Communion, and even did a reading at church!

My world has forever been changed because of you, and my purpose made deeper than I could’ve imagined. So thankful to have learned and loved so much these past nine years.

Wishing you a fantastic year ahead filled with discovery, imagination, and all the books you can handle.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

xox,

Mom

You still love your babies, especially your {real} baby cousin!

To My Son On His Fifth Birthday

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Dear Miles,

How in the heck did you get so old? As you already know, as my last kiddo, you will ALWAYS be my baby. Hard to believe the blur of midnight feedings and chunky toddler legs has slipped by me in the blink of an eye.

Today you are five.

You are big enough to get yourself dressed {although not always correctly}, but still small enough to run to me the second your feelings get hurt or you get a cut worthy of a character band-aid. Being the youngest, you have hit milestones well before your sisters, just by watching them. This year, you’ve beat me at Mario Kart, learned how to ride your bike, and taken in some solid math skills thanks to your sister. It has been fun to watch your confidence grow right along with your brain.

Speaking of your sisters, you ADORE both of them. Depends on the day which one you flock too, but it’s clear to me — Kinley is for the motherly needs and Karina is for your wild side. You and Kar share mischievous trouble often, and there are always laughs made at your expense…Sorry dude. Older siblings are a pain like that. I promise to intervene when it gets bad, but as you know, these girls are for sure going to make you a strong communicator with women 😉

In fact, the one glaring difference between you and your sisters is your adoration of ME. I was always told “boys love their mamas” and it has been so true for us. I adore your need for affection and how you can’t go to sleep without a hug and kiss from me. You still insist I sing to you, too, and I know it will be a sad day when you’re ready to let that go.

I still chuckle that your name is Miles, and we love calling you Miles of Smiles because it’s true — you are such a happy boy! Daddy likes to jokingly call you our puppy because you are ALWAYS happy to see us, and in need of love. Never stop being such a joy spreader. You complete our family, and bring such comic relief. We appreciate it!

During the past year, you’ve made friends with all kinds of random kids — you make friends wherever you go, and that has been super special since your my final baby. You definitely have a rough and tumble about you though that can easily be squashed with the right look or the promise of a hug. You thrive with physical touch, and I do my best to provide that to you LOTS during the day. Your grumpy moods are typically pretty easily squashed with affection or a mid-day bath. You request the Jewel lullaby CD whenever you know you need a nap — it’s the best!

Like your big sister, you love and crave movement and thrive with routine. Hearing you ask daily “Is it a gym day?” is my favorite. You never question the places I make you go, but you love knowing what’s going to happen in our day. You truly have an adventuresome soul, which I appreciate since I do too!

There is one thing for sure: I am going to miss the heck out of you this year as you begin your journey into begindergarten and “big school,” as you like to call it. I have no doubt you are ready, and will do amazing things. I’m glad to give you one more year to have low academic pressure and more play, and just adjust to the school routine.

This past year with just you at home will be one I always look upon fondly. It has been so super special to have so much time just you and me. You bring me joy, you make me laugh, and I appreciate your willingness to try new adventures. Never stop being you, my SONshine.

Love you to the mom and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mommy

To My Daughter On Her Seventh Birthday {Karina}

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My dearest Karina,

As my child that always keeps me guessing and always on my toes, it sure has been a whirlwind season with you. This past year has brought your first lost teeth, learning to ride a bike, and reading with confidence. There sure has been some tremendous growth!

Today you are seven.

Seven!!! How did we get here this fast?! Seven is like a miniature adult. No longer do you need my help with so many things. You can care for yourself and the animals, and hang with the big kids. You are curious and occasionally rational, and make a great companion while out on adventures. Don’t tell your siblings, but you win the most helpful award in our family. Thanks for always being willing to help me clean and organize!

This year you have blown me away with your ability to adapt despite sensory overload being a very real thing in your world. I worried and worried about where you may struggle with school and friends, but once again you have proved you are capable of living your best life. You love school and thrive there. I am so grateful for the wonderful teachers who have provided you with a solid routine, which has been such a sense of security for you.

Your competitive spirit has realllllly shown its colors this year, too. You want to be the best at everything, and you work your tail off at school and in sports to try to earn that title.

You have grown to love reading this year, but math is your absolute favorite. We have had to create worksheets for you and buy workbooks galore to keep up with your passion for learning about numbers. That is definitely a trait that makes your accountant daddy proud! Keep up the good work, but know there is more to life than smarts, and we need to continue to work on those social skills and being a good friend, too.

Your personality type is still TBD, but as of now, you seem to be an extroverted introvert. You are often labeled as silly and have a reputation of being a class clown among your peers. You love jokes and don’t typically shy away from attention. But some days, you just really enjoy being alone, and sneak off from playing with friends for some downtime in your room.

You love sports, and are looking forward to playing soccer and flag football in the fall. I wouldn’t be surprised if you try all the sports by high school. Clearly movement is something your body craves! Daddy and I are happy to let you try what activities you’d like, as long as you still have plenty of time to relax and just be a kid, too. Go gentle on yourself as you learn what makes your heart happiest.

Your current favorite things to do are play with our pets, wrestle, climb, play outside, LEGOs, and Nintendo. I absolutely love seeing you interact with your siblings, and how much you and your brother have grown together this past year. As we always joke, you two go from best friends to mortal enemies in a matter of minutes. Keep nurturing those sibling relationships because like we always warn you — you’re stuck with them for LIFE.

Thanks for making my mama heart happy and wearing matching dresses. I know they aren’t your thing…But look how cute we are!

I hope you know how much daddy and I love you. We know you are a very strong willed child with a fire in your belly that cannot be tamed. Please continue to go easy on us as we continue to determine how best to reach that beautiful, fast-paced brain of yours. We have no doubt that with your smarts and confidence, you are going places.

We love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mom

To My Daughter On Her Eighth Birthday {Kinley}

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My dearest Kinley,

Oh goodness. Just thinking about writing this has given me both the warm fuzzies and the choked up feeling. How can you be getting so big?

Today you are EIGHT. Eight! Eight is great, right?! {You know you “love” my jokes 😉 / inside joke}

First, I just want to say you are blooming into the coolest little lady ever. I’m sure part of me saying that is because I am your mom, but part knows it just has to be true. You are such an integral part of our family, and there isn’t a day that goes by without me feeling SO thankful my life is blessed by you.

Like me, you have a soft spot for people and their stories, endless optimism, and curiosity. I thought I was a kid who loved learning, but I think you have me beat. I’m thankful Siri can help us when we have questions because I promise to NEVER grow sick of your questions. Ask away, and we will figure things out together.

For the past few years you have said you want to be a scientist when you grow up. Your love of all things science, math, nature, and all creatures has been SO consistent in your life. You could care less about TV or screen time; you’d much prefer to play outside. This year, we’ve learned a ton about birds, bugs, animals, planets, and places around the world. You never want to quit learning. Funny enough, your bookshelf is so full of non-fiction books, it broke – ha! Keep up your passion for learning and reading — both will take you far in life.

A few things that have been new to your personality this year: You notice brands on clothing, and enjoy when I buy you Under Armor, Nike, Adidas, etc. Athletic clothing is your jam, which is totally cool by me. It’s comfy – I get it! Thankfully you aren’t picky. Please keep that up and I’ll do my best to honor your requests 😉

You’ve also fallen victim to the squishy toy craze, which is a trend among you kids. I didn’t even know there was a difference in a regular stress ball versus a “slow-rising” squishie toy until this year, so thanks for that knowledge. You are right — they do feel quite nice to squeeze, though I am not a fan of how costly they can be. Keep doing chores around the house, and I’ll be glad to indulge you on occasion.

As far as personality, there are many things that have not changed in your life — one being your quietness. In a world of extroverts {myself included}, I get why the quiet kids often get overlooked. You aren’t one to cause drama, and you’d be mortified forever if you ever got into any kind of trouble. In fact I may have said “Yay!” when you said your teacher had to tell you to stop talking once.

Please don’t let your quietness define you or make you question your abilities. Because you, my dear, are a firefly, and you shine from within. Please know that just because you are less needy than your siblings, doesn’t mean I don’t constantly notice you.

I notice your light.

I notice it when you search for frogs and bugs.

I notice it when you care for your siblings when they don’t feel well.

I notice it when you sing.

I notice it when you ask about a person with a disability.

I notice it when you have a giggle fit and show your missing teeth.

I notice it when you recall a fact you’ve learned and apply it to new knowledge.

I notice your light shining daily.

So keep shining your light into the world, and I’m confident one day the world is going to see it, too.

Happy birthday to my sweetheart. My blue eyed Kinee-Ree who sees the good in everyone no-matter-what kid.

I love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mom

To My Son On His Fourth Birthday

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My dear Miles,

My cuddly, sweet, mischievous little boy…

Today you are four.

You are ecstatic to be four. In fact, you’ve asked me daily for a month when it was going to be your birthday, and got the biggest grin ever, no matter what number I said. Being four is like hitting the lotto in your brain I’m pretty sure.

While I already know that turning four is sure to usher in constant questions and sass, I am also excited for you to continue to piece the world together. Gone are your baby features, though your chubby cheeks still remain, beckoning me to kiss them anytime I am near them. You never shy away from a kiss or a hug, and for that, I am grateful because I know those days are numbered.

Seeing you grow has been such a joy because you are so full of JOY. You are happy from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep, and the nickname ‘Smiles’ has really stuck. You truly are a joy spreader, and I hope that is something that follows you until the end.

With that said, you are positively, uniquely YOU, and you make no apologies for it. You are a leader of mischief for sure. This year has brought us plenty of broken toys, and a broken TV…even though I am sure to remind you daily — “No balls in the house!” You’ve gotten ahold of scissors and cut your hair, and even cut my beautiful roses that were about to bloom. Most days, mischief is your middle name. Your energy is boundless!

Thankfully, when you do get into trouble, you are quick to say sorry. You cry and ask for hugs and cuddles — you do not like when daddy or I are upset with you and need plenty of reassurance to make sure we still love you. You have a huge heart and are incredibly sensitive, and we love that about you. Never be afraid to express your feelings, little man.

You do not like to be alone, and that makes sense…You are rarely alone with two sisters and constant friends over. Every morning you sneak into bed with me and fall back asleep. Although I prefer not to deal with kids before coffee, you always are smiling and reminding me how I should start the day, too. Thank you for that.

Your sense of style is uncanny, often wearing your shoes on the wrong feet {IF you’re wearing shoes at all — usually you aren’t — and your feet feel like leather!}, and looking slightly disheveled since you insist on dressing yourself. As much as it drives me crazy, I love seeing how confident you are, and hope that continues.

This year has brought your first year of preschool, and you did really well. You are my social butterfly! Even though you prefer when I am with you, I’m proud that you never shy away from new things, and are always willing to join in with anything you set your mind to. You also tried soccer and gymnastics this year, and you loved both. Honestly, you love everything and everyone…You truly are a go-with-the-flow guy, which has been fantastic since you are the third child.

This year, I hope you continue to play hard and love hard, and live life to its fullest. Thanks for the daily reminders to have fun and find joy in the simple things. You truly are a ray of SONshine.

I love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

To My Daughter On Her Sixth Birthday {Karina}

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My dear Karina,

What a year of growth it has been for you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the endless cuddles you’ve provided me with, and the reflective questions you have helped me to ponder. With each year you grow, I grow too!

Today you are six.

That’s a whole hand plus one, according to your mathematical brain.

If you would’ve told me last year how much you’d be thriving now, I may have dismissed it. We’ve had some really tough years together, but this one was for the books.

For starters, I thought you’d struggle in school. Boy, was I wrong. You THRIVED. We kicked off your schooling with all day begindergarten to give you an extra year to practice your social skills, and I heard so much positive feedback about your intellect, your attitude, and your ability to always be a helper! You are task-oriented through and through, and school helped to create that solid structure you’ve craved since day one. I have no doubt we made the right decision giving you an extra year for growth.

In fact, I still laugh about the day the principal called me…I immediately thought he was going to say you got into a fight {What?! You are a wildcard at times!}. Instead, he told me how you had been chosen to be student of the month due to your responsible behavior. Just one more reason I need not doubt your abilities…You may be incredibly stubborn with your family, but it seems you are also a people pleaser, so thanks for that!

This summer with you has been fantastic. I’ve seen you go from a quiet child who would run inside to hermit when challenged, to a friend that looks out for others and faces challenges head-on. It has been the most positive transformation for you this year, by far. You often say you are shy…But we all know that is NOT the case, and when you have thoughts, you speak your mind, for better or worse 😉

One of my favorite qualities about you that took hold this year is your passion for reading. You had zero pressure on you to read, but you took it upon yourself to learn. I’m a low pressure parent when it comes to academics, but I found myself sitting with you to help because you absolutely love it.

You are a natural learner, and I have no doubt you are going to rock this school year! Your intelligence often seems to be a few steps ahead of me, and I am constantly on the lookout for ways to stimulate your brain and need for physical play.

Speaking of physical play, that has been HUGE for you this year. You still scoff at my ideas for dance and theatre, opting instead to try any sport we can budget for {and you’d love to try them all if time allowed}. This year, you stuck with karate and tried T-ball. You did fantastic with both, and I hope you continue to love and learn from sports in the years ahead.

Some of your favorite things to do are wrestle with daddy, ride bikes, CLIMB {anything!}, build with toys, and play outside. In many ways, your brain operates SO different than mine, but then I see how passionate you get, and how busy you like to be, and I am reminded that we are cut from the same cloth 😉

Your favorite “chill” activity is to cuddle your boy, Jack-Jack. I am so grateful for the calm he provides you with, and I smile every night I see you two cuddled up asleep. He has been an amazing addition to our family, and I appreciate your help with him.

Kar-Bar, I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know that even though sometimes I yell as you challenge me daily, I wouldn’t have it any other way because it shows me how fierce you are, and that is a quality that cannot be taught. Keep that fire alive by being the incredibly passionate child you are, and I have no doubt you will go far in this life.

I love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mom

To My Son On His Third Birthday {Miles}

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“I do it by my own self.”

Oh Miles.

If there was a phrase to sum up your second year, that would be the one, Mr. Independent.

This past year has been full of beautiful moments I will always treasure, but I’d be remiss to not mention all of your toddler shenanigans, too. We had our first visit to the ER {skin glue to the forehead} and were met with daily demands for putting on your own sunscreen and shoes, which are always on the wrong feet. Thankfully, we somehow survived potty training, despite many accidents along the way.

What I’ve learned about you: You sure are a guy that makes his own rules. I appreciate your independence, but let’s slow down a touch, OK?

Today you are THREE.

Your enthusiasm for life and constant smile bring joy to everyone you encounter.

Some days you say “I want to be big,” and part of my heart shouts “NO! Stop growing!” The other part is thrilled to watch you grow into a sweet young man, just like your daddy. You share his intelligence and kind eyes, and I assure you that in due time you will be able to use your own set of tools just like him {a big dream of yours}. Don’t rush through life, bubs.

The trait people comment on the most about you is how happy you are. Daddy loves to say you wake-up pooping rainbows. It’s so true! You make us smile from sun-up to sun-down and there isn’t a whole lot that brings you down. You enjoy people and constantly want to play with others, often calling a kid you just met at the park your best friend. Please keep your sweet nature about you in the years ahead.

Your feet are the same size as your 5-year-old sister’s and you are a pretty stocky kid. People often comment on that as well. One day, an older man said you are too old to be picked up by me. Don’t believe the lies. I won’t stop picking you up until you stop asking. With that said, you are getting heavy, so cut me some slack at times 😉 People love to mention you will be a football player one day. You be you, dude.

You pay attention to details and say I’m pretty when I put on a dress or change my hairstyle. You are very observant for such a little guy. Daddy says you have me wrapped around your finger. Let’s be honest – we both know it’s true. Keep building others up because it will build you up, too.

Your vocabulary has grown leaps and bounds this year, and we are constantly amazed by the things you say and know, including all types of trucks. You use hilarious words like “actually,” and can be quite a deep thinker just before bedtime, which isn’t always convenient, but you know I will always listen and engage you. You LOVE talking. Make sure to listen as you grow-up, too.

Routine is your friend and you often tell us when you’re ready to go to bed. You refuse to nap for me most of the time, but love your “man naps” with daddy. You started climbing out of your crib at 2.5 so you’re in a twin bed now. We still read, rock and sing every night, and now you join me in song, singing “Twinkle, twinkle little stars.” I tuck you in and your little hands go behind your head and you smile as I leave the room. I leave with a smile in my own heart. You’re very easy to love.

As much as I miss the days that have passed, I am loving the stage we are in now too. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — you were the missing piece to our family. Life is complete with you.

Keep letting your bright light shine in the year ahead and play hard and stay sweet.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

Reflecting:

To My Daughter On Her Fifth Birthday {Karina}

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Oh my sweet orchid. My sweet, affectionate, middle baby.

Can we raise a glass of orange juice to making it through this year together? It sure has been a wild ride filled with more emotions than you and I ever knew possible. But we’re getting there, child. You, me, and daddy. We’re finding our way through the wires of your beautiful brain, and figuring out just what we need to do to help you thrive.

Today you are five.

This year has been full of so many appointments, and for that, I’m sorry. Evaluations, a diagnoses we’re still making sense of, weekly trips to occupational therapy and speech. Tear-filled school drop-offs and post-school rages that left me questioning myself. Some days I ask God why He entrusted you into my care. Other days, it’s evident: I was made to be your mom and you were made to be my little rock star.

Thankfully, there has been so many incredibly joyful moments, too.

Your ability to make others laugh is remarkable. We love hearing you ask which words rhyme or asking us for “tomato chips” {potato} and alligator {Gatorade}. You get sarcasm, and everyone loves hearing your daily “I gotta tell you something…” stories, which always tell of some shenanigans. The adults that take the time to get to know you find you hilarious. For being such a little peanut, you sure have a big personality.

Keep the laughs coming, girlfriend. It’s going to get you through a lot of tough times.

Only you would pass out on the couch in winter gear and hillbilly teeth!

Another stand-out quality that has really jumped out this year is your ability to never shy away from hard work — whether it’s sitting down to practice your letters or helping me feed the kitty or empty the dishwasher. Sometimes I pay you $1 to help me with larger tasks, other times you do it before I even ask. I appreciate your help SO much, and you know those winks when I say you’re my best helper are true 😉

You’ve wanted to be a police officer since you could talk, and I can already see why that would be an amazing profession for you. You love helping others and thrive with structure. Shoot for the stars, little lady. I have no doubt you will rock whatever path you choose in life.

On that note — you love anything physical, whether it’s bike riding, wrestling or obstacle courses. This summer you’ve discovered karate and it has done wonders for your growth and confidence. I beam with pride each time you take a stripe test and stand in front of your class to show your moves like it’s no big deal. You don’t care what anyone thinks, and I pray daily you keep that amazing quality. {*clap*clap* “You rock”}

I also have so many fond memories of you dancing this year. For being a gal who hates loud noises, you LOVE heavy metal and rock n’ roll, just like your dad. I’ll never forget channel surfing and seeing you bop around happily to Marilyn Manson’s Beautiful People. Shoot, as long as the lyrics are clean, you are free to rock out to whatever you darn well please. We support you. {I’m still looking for a heavy metal yoga class for us!}

One of my favorite sweet things about you is the insane amount of affection you crave. Your monkey hugs, with your legs wrapped around me, give me life. When I ask how hugs make you feel, you’ll say it feels like little hearts walking all over your body. You have a way with putting things in such a simple and thoughtful way we adore.

Your siblings are your world. You fight with them often, but at the end of the day, you love them with all your being, and I know you would do anything to defend them.

Four has been tough in many ways, but so full of love and laughter. Let’s keep up the great teamwork we are finding together. I have no doubt it’s going to be a great year ahead as you enter full day “big school” as a begindergartner.

You truly are an orchid child. Your environment is fragile and sensitive at times, but given the right mix, you thrive. Please be patient as we learn how to care for you in the best way possible.

Bloom where you are planted, my love, and we’ll do our best to give you optimal conditions.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mommy

Dear Daughters, Stay Weird

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“Mom, it’s important that we’re all different. Because life would be boring if we were all the same. This is how I am. And when I find someone that thinks how I do, it will be good.”

My 6-year-old gracefully took my own words and used them against me as I tried to coax her into trying to talk to new friends at school.

Once again, she was the teacher and I was the student as she went on to label herself as weird, and how she was perfectly happy the way she is. I was quick to remind her weird isn’t a bad thing. Weird is something to embrace. We do weird in this house. We embrace our differences and we cheer for individuality. Weird is positive. Besides, what’s “normal” anyway?

If we’re out and about, you may see my girls dressed as super heroes or in some crazy mis-matched outfits. You’ll see them happiest digging in the dirt, creating homes for their worms and spiders, and making up interpretive dances to the MJR theme song. My girls are just weird about a lot of things.

I often hear: “I love how you let your girls be themselves.”

I take this as a compliment because authenticity is something I strive for, so why wouldn’t I want the same for my kids? Yet I still battle with the thought that maybe my kids are a little too weird, and maybe it would be easier if they fit what society deems normal for a little girl. Maybe I’d rather hear that they are adorable or well-behaved because that’s how little girls should be described, at least according to anyone over the age of 60. Right?

Thing is, as the saying goes — well-behaved girls seldom make history. Weird, smart, unique girls do. Yet I still have to remind myself of this daily, despite being called weird for majority of my own growing up, and never being phased by it.

Daughter 1:

I will never forget how you beamed when you stepped in front of me with the face paint you thought long and hard about…bloody scratches that looked like claw marks. This, after seeing girl after girl covered in neon, happy faces. Not you though. You always keep us guessing.

For being a very shy gal who follows rules like nobody’s business, I have to chuckle when you end up getting all kind of attention for the outfits you choose and the odd things you can be found doing — from playing SWAT Team to begging to watch scary movies with zombies.

You are funny and passionate, though not everyone gets to see that side. There is always a song in your heart and you sing while you create. Your time is spent organizing your weird little collections and exploring your surroundings with an imaginative and boisterous spirit. I admire this SO much about you.

Daughter 2:

I can’t figure out what the girly girl culture ever did to you, but you sure despise it. I find it comical considering I really tried my best to put you in dresses and bows, and you hated them, even as an infant. Today, you chuckle as you see yourself in dresses in your baby photos, and you were the lone girl not sporting a leotard and pink at dance class.

The moment you slipped on that Ninja Turtle hoodie, it was magic, and you fell hard — into the world of everything superhero. There aren’t many days your hair isn’t a mess and your hood not over your head. There was a time when people often mistook you as a boy, but whatever…You’re definitely just being who you are — and threaten to karate chop or hand cuff anyone who dare crosses your path.

Your quirk and random jokes generally tells other kids you want to be left alone, or they cling to you, knowing full-well you are a challenge. These are the kids I hope you befriend — if they can handle you at your ultimate weirdness, we know they are good ones who will love you with the fierce love and protection you have for your family.

To both of my girls: I hope you stay weird.

My parental task lies ahead: How do I keep you both unique? Can we maintain this ability to be comfortable in your own skin into the teen years? And most of all, how do I maintain sanity as you grow?

I don’t pretend to always “get” my girls, and I struggle with both of them some days, but I will always fight for them to express themselves. I am not spending these years letting my girls build their own quirky personality just to have them conform to society’s expectations in the future.

Raising spirited children has been my hardest life task by far. On a daily basis, I find myself proud one moment and then apologizing for their behavior the next. Some days I struggle to turn off the “I-would-never-do-that” voice in my head.

Yet I’m proud of my girl’s confidence and the fact they don’t give a hoot what anyone thinks about them, and that they are willing to accept others for their quirks, too. They truly are their authentic selves, and I pray daily that remains forever.

In the process, perhaps they will inspire me to let my weird show more, too.

To My Daughter on her 6th Birthday {Kinley}

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My dearest Kinley,

Today you are SIX. Where has time gone?! Where is my chubby cheeked toddler?! Some days I’m bitter with how fast time goes, but then again, it has been such a pleasure watching you grow that I can’t help but look forward to what’s ahead.

I think this age is notoriously a favorite among parents for great reason. Being able to put on your own shoes, wipe yourself, and buckle yourself in, are three solid reasons. Age 6 also means I have a little buddy that still adores me and wants cuddles, but doesn’t need me quite as much as you did in the past.

The greatest lesson I’ve learned this year as your mother is to just let you be YOU and not what I think you should be.

Because there is only one Kinley, and she is fabulous at blazing her own trail.

This is what turning 6 means to you:

Six is being an amazing sibling.

You are incredible with your siblings, and I thank God every day for your patience and demeanor. Your sister and brother ADORE you, and have missed you tons as you take on kindergarten this year.

My heart melted into a puddle the night I overheard you say to Karina, “I will sing to you like you’re my baby. Mama always says we’ll always be her baby, and you will always be my baby sister.”

I pray you are always as close as you are now.

Six is having a BIG heart.

You warm our hearts when you think of others. You know nothing of prejudice and bigotry, instead tackling the world with an open heart. You are sensitive, and it’s one of your greatest strengths.

I’ll never forget how concerned you were when I told you why you couldn’t bring snacks with peanut butter to school due to allergies. Instead of protesting, your brain immediately went to the kids and how scary that must be for them. I only wish adults could have that mentality!

This year you also donated 10″ of hair to Wigs 4 Kids after meeting a friend who can’t grow hair. This year you hope to do it again. I hope you keep compassion in your heart as you learn and grow.

Six is loving music.

Your favorite subject at school is music and you love singing and performing for our family. In fact, this year you’ve proclaimed you want to be a singer and write your own music. I want to let you know that you can be anything you want, and I hope you push yourself to get on that stage one day because you already have an awesome voice. {Secretly, I hope you find your tribe with music like I did!}

Six is having a random passion…Like newborn babies.

You are obsessed with newborn babies. I’m pretty confident you could care for one just based on the amount of YouTube videos you’ve watched about them.

I’ll never forget when you said “It seems like a lot of moms have babies in their bellies. Do you think they asked for them for Christmas?”

I love your thoughts and keen observations about life. You are a thinker, which is an awesome quality.

And should you choose to be a mother some day, I have no doubt you’ll be a great one.

Six is loving to learn…and loving potty humor.

The best part about this phase of your life is your ability to soak in information. You remember everything, even things I forget. You love reading and learning about rocks, animals, babies, history, and more.

You’re obsessed with fun facts, and share them with anyone who will listen…Your current favorite is that the average person farts 14 times each day. I mean, it is kind of fascinating I suppose. 😉

I hope you always have a passion for learning.

Six is finally eating adult foods.

Maybe that heading is a stretch. But this year has brought you a love for sandwiches {from your daddy} and the Chinese buffet {me}. I will take it! Though I am not sure why you won’t eat mac n’ cheese or chicken nuggets, I am relieved you have a more open mind to trying new things.

Six is letting go, but waiting in the wings.

With this year, we’ve moved to play with friends without parents involved. We’ve pushed you out of your comfort zone, and you’ve thrived despite your hesitations. Keep pushing yourself, and I will continue to respect your boundaries. You know I am here for the times you need a hand to hold or a boo-boo to kiss.

I’m so proud of the little gal you are becoming and I can’t wait to continue watching you blaze a trail, my love.

Have an amazing 6th birthday and an awesome year.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity,

Kisses,

Mom

Parenting Is…

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Parenting is…

~ Keeping a straight face when you have to punish your kid for saying some ~~funny~~ naughty.

~ Cleaning one room only to discover the kid’s made a mess in a different room.

~ 90% grocery shopping and food prep. 10% ensuring everyone has the right color plate.

~ Eating your kid’s leftovers because you simply don’t have the energy to prepare more food.

~ Finding strange things in strange places and wondering what the logic was that got it there.

~ Hoping your spouse notices someone needs a diaper change so you don’t have to do it.

~ Simultaneously feeling terrified and excited to have the next 18 years +/- with the same kids.

~ Hiding the {insert food weakness} you really want to eat but do not want to share.

~ Running late because someone’s shoes are missing. {Seriously, where do they go?}

~ An endless loop of washing the floor, wiping butts, and folding laundry.

Equal parts maddening and heart-tugging.

~ It’s learning you are SO far from perfect it’s not even funny.

~ Constantly second guessing yourself, your words, and your actions.

~ Trusting your instincts are generally spot-on.

~ Learning that it’s easier to be impatient than to remain calm.

~ Loving the individual personalities your children have, and embracing their imperfections…Because despite them, they are perfect.

~ Learning to let go, even when you secretly want to keep hanging on.

~ Re-living the magic of childhood through the eyes of your babies.

~ Seeing parts of yourself alive in someone else; for better or worse.

~ Learning to dance, one milestone at a time, together.

~ Finally, it’s seeing your heart walk outside of your body and go into this world with the wings you gave them.

Truly, is there anything more beautiful?

What is parenting to you in one phrase?

To My Son on His Second Birthday {Miles}

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Dearest Miles,

You are my SONshine, my only SONshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my SONshine away.

I sing this to you daily, and I can’t help but feel the lyrics with every fiber of my being, with you being both my son and my sunshine.

Today you are TWO.

Two! That means I am inching farther from a baby Miles and closer to the kid version. It pains my heart to watch you grow, though I can’t help but cheer for each new passing stage, too. This parenting thing sure creates a lot of conflicting feelings.

Many people have told me boys affect their mamas in a unique way. I can honestly say I believe it. I have this overwhelming urge to protect you, but also this desire to mold you into a perfect little gentleman. Only time will tell how well I do, but I like to think I am doing an OK job. You are such a polite little toddler!

If there’s one word that describes you, it’s charm, and with that, you’ve brought our family infinite amounts of joy. Some days I can’t help but grab your face and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. What makes me leaky is when you repeat how much you love me back and wrap your arms around my neck and hug me so deliberately. Are you trying to wrap me around your finger? Because it’s working, little buddy.

You absolutely ADORE your friends and sisters and do anything to keep them doting on you. You’ve even won over Karina, which says a lot since she doesn’t always find your shenanigans very comical. You win everyone over pretty quickly with your hilarious personality.

This year has brought a ton of growth. First of all, I guess you’re tall for your age because people comment on it daily {calculations show you likely will be around 6′}. Second, your language has exploded. You talk from sun-up to sun-down. You demand food the moment I get you out of your crib, saying things like “toast sticks” and “awfuls” for waffles.

We laugh, too, because once you have an idea in your brain, it sticks until you get your way. I literally counted you saying “I want to go outside” 50 times one day as I attempted to clean the house. Other notable phrases you are obsessed with include “car ride,” “boat ride” and “quad ride” — you love everything that moves and go especially crazy for trucks of all shapes and sizes. The garbage man is one of your heroes and you go nuts when he drives by. Occasionally he’ll wave and completely make your day.

I think you loved your birthday present from us and the grandparents!

But then there’s the mischief. My apologies — I have sworn in front of you more than I ever did the girls. {Please don’t repeat those words!} You just love to make me crazy when I’m not looking. You love saying “I help,” and manage to destroy various things that cross your path. Your saving grace is that your intentions are pure and when you flash those little dimples I pause and remember you’re only two.

Thankfully, tucking you in at night is a great way to forgive you. You love being on a schedule and know it’s time for bed when 7:30 p.m. rolls around. Our routine is to read three books and sing two songs, but you almost always convince me to do an encore. I sing you your favorite, a German lullaby, and your body folds into an L across my lap, your adorable toes touching my kneecaps, reminding me I won’t be able to hold you like that much longer. As I leave your room, I always say “love you, sleep tight” and you reply “wuv ouu, mama” and I melt into a little puddle in the hallway.

You’re getting to be a handful, but I wouldn’t change it for the world…As my third child, I am letting you get away with far too much, but I know that time is fleeting and this stage won’t last forever. All the pieces of you — the naughty, the hilarious, and the sweet parts…I’ll hang on to until you drift further away from me and mold into your own person.

Daddy and I love you and look forward to your continued growth in the year ahead. Thanks for being our comic relief when times are tense. There’s no doubt you were meant to be a part of our family, and we are thrilled to celebrate two beautiful years with you today.

Love you to the moon and back times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

Reflecting back:

Miles at 18 months

Miles at age 1

To My Daughter On Her Fourth Birthday {Karina}

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Dearest Karina,

More times than not, my day begins with you. A warm little nose pressed against mine as I try to sleep off the day’s previous activities. You’re my morning gal who likes to wake-up when the sun rises.

You greet me with a “good morning” and a smile and delightfully take in some screen time while I pry my eyes open and stumble downstairs to make my coffee. After eating breakfast, it’s off to your favorites: LEGOs, Shopkins or coloring. Seeing your imagination and vocabulary take off this year has been amazing.

Today you are FOUR.

Alas, it has been a year. 5 staples in your head after a visit to the ER. Getting glasses. Various evaluations. Weekly trips to OT. A diagnoses of Sensory Processing Disorder. Countless days of meltdowns and tear-filled preschool drop-offs…from both of us.

There’s no denying this year has challenged us. Some days, gut wrenchingly so as I learn what upsets you — from toilets flushing and fireworks to staying at a crowded place longer than I had prepared you for. I wish I could place you in a bubble on those tough days, but I can’t. Please know I will do everything in my power to keep you comfortable as your brain and body learn how to cope.

Thankfully, we’re getting there. We learn from each other each day, and I thank God for blessing me with a little one who has taught me so much about patience, tolerance and acceptance. There is no doubt in my mind — you have made me a better mom this year; a certified grizzly bear who will never stop advocating for her child.

Because how could I not with those sparkly blue eyes?

There has also been copious amounts of joy. You bring this beautiful intensity and determination to everything you set your mind to, and I have mad respect for that.

I ask you to clean, you do it. I ask you to help me make something, and you’re two steps ahead of me. At your core, you’re a busybody, so I do my best to fill your time and keep you occupied. I often joke that you just need a job, and it’s SO true. You love working hard! I have no doubt in my mind that this quality alone will take you far in life.

I’m fairly certain you could survive off of hugs and cuddles, too. I often joked when you were a baby that if you could, you would crawl in my skin. That hasn’t changed, and cuddles often help fix you when your big emotions become too much for you. I will never deny holding you or taking time to lay with you and give you bear hugs. We both need those moments. It’s definitely in these moments where you really open up to me. I never tire of hearing your thoughts and the adorable way you piece your words together. {I adore the way you call Gatorade “alligator” – ha!}

You are so unique too, Kari. You adore super heroes {or in your words “super harios.”} This year’s obsession has been Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I am pretty sure you wore that Michelangelo hoodie just about every day, even though Leonardo is your true hero. Taking a cue from your crime-fighting ninja pals, you want to be a police officer when you grow-up so you can protect people and fight bad guys. Girl, you can be whatever the heck you want to be. My only wish is for you to stay strong in your convictions and always be true to yourself.

Your best friends are your sister and brother {sometimes} and you fiercely protect them. Thankfully, you’ve begun to ease up on your sassy attitude toward others, and sometimes I feel like I can physically see the toddler shell coming off and a big kid stepping in.

Overall, this year has been a year of emotional and physical growth. I’ve been glad to be along for the ride toward giving you wings; I have no doubt you will continue to soar during the year ahead. I just pray I continue to serve you well and help create positive memories for you to remember forever.

I love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

A Letter To My Son At 18 Months

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Dear Miles,

My apologies for being a little late with this letter…We missed your official half birthday while we were away, and even though 18 months is such a small milestone in many respects, there has been so much change during the past 6 months, an update feels warranted.

Plus, 18 months means we’re getting closer to two, which seems impossible. Wasn’t I just pregnant with you? Time needs to stop. My once chubby toddling 1-year-old is now a full-fledge, constantly running, maniac, who is full of personality.

Your life in a nutshell at this stage: An endless loop of the same 3 books being thrown at me, hearing constant mutters of “uh-oh” and “hot,” and me getting that feeling of not knowing where my keys are, except it’s typically you I have lost…and you have my keys.

If I’m being completely honest, I never really loved this stage since it’s generally sheer exhaustion, but since you are my last baby, I truly am cherishing it. Turns out it’s not as awful when you don’t have time to worry!

Things I love about you now: The way you call me “MA!” and holler it all over the house if I’m in a different room, your excitement and willingness to help me cook and clean, and how you get the best grin on your face when we pray at dinner and have a family hug at bedtime.

I also love the joy on your face when someone comes through the door. You adore your daddy and aunt Whitney {aka BFF} especially, but also your sisters, the grandparents, and all of your little friends. You have been the most social of my babies, and bring so much joy to everyone you meet.

{Typical you…mouth stuffed full of lord knows what!}

Some current favorite pastimes include exploring, climbing, reading and doing whatever your sisters are doing. You also seem to have a keen interest in tractors and trains, “color” {coloring}, playing outside, animals, and eating anything and everything.

Funny enough, one of your first words was “cheese” and you sure know how to ham it up for the camera and smile with your entire face. Cracks us up!

But it can’t be all roses, sweetie. You are also full of mischief. Your curiosity is endless and you are absolutely fearless. You hide things so we can’t find them, get into the toilet, open doors and the fridge, and just love dumping out my jewelry, which is maddening.

However, when I catch you in a naughty act and give a firm “NO!” your bottom lip pops out into a pout and I melt into a puddle and quickly forgive you. Suffice to say, some days I am very thankful you go to bed at 7 p.m. because I need the break 😉

Despite keeping me on my toes, you also just keep life fun, and there’s no doubt in my mind you were the missing, charming, puzzle piece to our family.

Thank you for continuing to teach me about love and patience as you grow. I feel beyond blessed that God chose you for us.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

13 Ways I Hope To Be A Fun Mom

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Dear children,

I get it. I will never be a cool mom. At the end of the day, I drive a minivan, have clothing that is only slightly in style, and make the hard decisions for you, so chances are pretty high that the word cool will never be attached to me. I do, however, promise to be a fun mom where it actually matters.

Here are 13 ways I hope to be a fun mom:

Swim every summer. I admit, I occasionally pull the “I don’t want to get my hair wet,” line. Well, watch out, kids! Mama may not go every time, but I promise to get in the water {and go under} a few times each summer.
Go on rides with you. I won’t lie, I’m not a huge fan of amusement park rides. But for you guys? Anything 😉 An elephant ear after will be a must. Just sayin’.
Play with you daily. I feel guilty saying it, but some days it’s reallllly hard to fully immerse myself in play when my brain just wants to wander to the million work tasks I need to accomplish. But, I know you are happiest when I play LEGO, hide-n-seek and zombies with you, so I’ll give this old body a workout and play, too.
Keep items you made that mean a lot to you. I dislike clutter, but gosh darn it, if it makes you happy to keep that wooden snowman you made in preschool in your room year-round, so be it.
Take each of you on date nights. I love seeing the bond you all have, but I absolutely adore having just one sticky little hand meld into mine during a special adventure together, even if it’s just a quick trip to the grocery store. I promise to treat you all as equally as possibly in this regard.
Allow ice cream for dinner occasionally. I set mealtime boundaries for a reason, but sometimes you just have to live a little. The sheer surprise on your face makes it worth it. Let’s just be sure to put some fruit on there, mmmK?
Dress-up for Halloween. Who says this holiday is for kids only? I love it, too. I promise to dress-up, even if it just means a quick cowgirl outfit. I’m a big believer in the family that plays together, stays together.
Jump in puddles. I vividly remember how muddy puddles whispered “Come splash in me!” as a kid. Go ahead and jump in them if we aren’t going anywhere important. Shoes can go in the wash later, and who knows — those puddles may stop calling you tomorrow, so we may as well live it up while we can.
Allow you to choose clothes for school photos. As long as it’s seasonally appropriate, go ahead and choose what you’d like to wear for photos. It’s important to me they capture who you are, not who I wanted you to be that day. Brushing your hair and teeth are not negotiable, though.
Let you hear me sing and see my dance moves. Yes, I love to sing and dance like a crazy person. I don’t really care if I embarrass you, if we’re ever at a wedding together, you bet I’ll be on the dance floor. I want you to see me have the confidence to sing and dance loud and proud so you can sing and dance as an adult, too.
Watch scary movies {within reason}. There may come a time in your life you will like scary movies. I loved them as a tween and watched a ton of stuff that was probably inappropriate for my age, thanks to older brothers. I’ll try to be cool with letting you choose, but remember nightmares can haunt you, so choose wisely.
Keep memories to remind you of childhood. I loved looking through my photo albums as a kid. I promise to keep printing off the many photos I take for you to see. Along the way, I will tell you stories of what you were like as a kid. Be sure to check your email account for funny things you have said, too.
Spend more money on experiences than things. This may be a hard one to wrap your brain around while young, but please trust me that material things come and go, but memories last forever. I will shop at thrift stores for everything so we can experience things and travel to new places. I’m always up for an adventure. Suggestions welcome!

Overall, I’m looking forward to having a lot of fun with you all in the years ahead. Even if I never earn the official title of “cool mom,” I do hope someday I can earn the title of fun mom, and eventually, friend.

Love you all to the moon and back times infinity,

Your Mother

What small things do you do to be a fun parent? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

To My Daughter On Her Fifth Birthday {Kinley}

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Dear Kinley,

Today you are five. FIVE. Five. I just need to say it a few times because this is a BIG one to me. You’re FIVE!!!

I want to laugh because I have a 5-year-old and I’m not sure how that happened, and I want to cry because I loved age 4 so much and I’m not sure I’m ready to let it go. With that said, I know you are beyond ecstatic since 5 is a whole hand, and that is a big deal in your world. I’ve heard about all your birthday plans for months, so it’s safe to say we’re going to have a blast celebrating.

The biggest change that has occurred during the past year is how much our conversations have evolved. I have such a blast talking to you and learning about what goes on in your mind! You are crazy creative and it makes my heart smile daily. So with that said, here are a few more of my thoughts on you, as a new 5-year-old:

You are smart.

You have this introspective side that makes me realize there are some things in life worth thinking a little harder about. Everything from the clothing you wear, to the friends you choose, come with methodical thoughtfulness. This is definitely a trait you received from your dad since I am very much a ‘dive right in’ kind of gal. I so appreciate learning more about the way he thinks through you.

On the flip side, you ask a LOT of questions and we all know that is a trait from me 😉 As a fellow curious person, I promise to never be annoyed by your questions. I have learned SO much {about bugs, Furbys, plants and more} because of you this year. Honestly, Google probably thinks I am crazy since we look up the oddest questions on my phone. I hope your desire to learn follows you throughout life.

You are beautiful — inside and out.

Sometimes when you’re playing, I find myself admiring you. You are beautiful. I don’t uphold that characteristic often, but the way your thick hair never wants to lay straight, and your big blue eyes lined with thick eyelashes — just wow. You are angelic. But more importantly, your heart is stunning, too. I love how you often say prayers for homeless people and ask how we can help them; even offering up the contents of your piggy bank. Please keep that generous fire alive in your heart.

You are challenging.

Getting you to try new things and meet new people is a source of stress for us. Please be patient as I learn how best to help you grow. It is never my intention to push you, but I will always advocate for you. I once was a shy kid, and I know good things can stem from that, but sitting on the sidelines isn’t always an option. Help me help you in the year ahead, OK? You are capable of wonderful things. Trust I can help guide you and remember you are my first child, so I am learning along with you.

You are full of passion.

Beyond excited for a Hulk shirt; frowning at the sight of a tutu. Smiling when the teacher gives you the blue marker; completely shy when a stranger asks you your name. Laughing as you overturn rocks to look for ropy-polys and crying quietly when someone hurts your feelings. You just know who you are, and you wear your heart on your sleeve. I pray daily you stay strong in your convictions and don’t let others define who you are.

And keep telling jokes, kid. Yours aren’t half bad! Always keep a good sense of humor because it will get you through the tough stuff.

You are my pride and joy.

A large part of my heart wants you to stay little forever. {I will have the image of you as a chubby-cheeked toddler in pigtails engrained in my brain forever.} But, I also am eager to see how you continue to grow, learn, change and be fascinated with life.

From growing you in my belly until now, you have taught me so much about patience and enjoying the small things in life. I have evolved as a person these past five years, and I am better because of you. Spread your wings and continue to soar this year, sweetie.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Butterfly kisses, nose kisses and Eskimo kisses,

Mama

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KINLEY, Age 5

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Movie: The Little Mermaid

Favorite Animal: Fawn

Favorite Place To Go: Costco

Best Friends: Maisy, Bella, Audrey and Hadley

Favorite Things to Do: Nature walks and LEGOs

Favorite Food: Corn wraps {these tofu wraps}

Wants to be a doctor when she grows-up

To My Son On His First Birthday

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Dear Miles,

Today you are ONE. Can you tell me — how did this year go by so fast? Seems like yesterday I was in labor and pacing the grounds at the hospital awaiting your arrival. It was such a wonderful experience being able to hold you in my arms for the first time!

Fast forward to now and I see this happy, healthy and hilarious little man before me. I couldn’t possibly feel more blessed.

You have been the exact puzzle piece we were missing to complete our family. From the moment you arrived, you fit in like you were here all along. There’s no doubt in my mind your sisters have loved watching you hit every milestone, just like daddy and I. They are crazy for you and always telling me when you’re doing cute things {“He’s standing! He’s walking! He’s in the toilet again!”} – you are lucky to have two big sisters to watch over you.

Watching you grow this past year has been beautiful. I have thoroughly enjoyed each baby cuddle, the smell of your hair basking in the sunshine, watching your little wrist chunks grow and flying through food faster than I could’ve ever imagined. You are my final baby, so each passing moment has been bittersweet, but also full of more joy than I could’ve ever anticipated.

Your nickname has been “sMiles” since day one, and for good reason. You smiled extremely early on and haven’t stopped. You have been the easiest of my babies in many ways, but I guess that could be because you are my third and you just know you *have* to be easy. THANK YOU for holding up your end of the bargain.

Our house is a lot louder and more chaotic with you here, but also full of amazing love. I often get the “your hands are full” comment when I’m in public with you and your sisters, and I am happy to reply “you should see my heart!”

I’ve always heard that there is an incredible bond between a mother and son, and you have proven that true. I love all three of you kids the same amount, but for different reasons. I feel this overwhelming need to protect you and shape you into the kind of man I’d want my daughters to marry. Get ready for some hardcore manners and lectures in your future…and my apologies in advance 😉

You absolutely adore your daddy, too. When he comes home, you reach for him and kiss him. It seriously makes me weepy…So stinkin’ sweet. I hope you two continue to bond and have a great relationship in the future because I am sure you will need to get away from us crazy girls at times.

You are very much like your sisters in many ways, but you do have a bit of a crazy streak. You’ve hit every milestone well before them and already are my little climber; climbing on chairs {and standing}, the couch, and picnic table, and giving me minor heart attacks in the process. You have no fear, which has been a reality check since I’m a hands-off type parent, but you also are the SWEETEST baby ever and call out “mama!” often when you need me.

During this year, your personality has formed, and we know of a few things so far:

You LOVE food. Seriously. Our grocery bill has gone up a ton since you already eat just as much as your sisters, if not more. You love it all too, but meat and cheeses are your favorites.
You are very independent. You feed yourself and get around really great…and that’s great because you hate sitting still.
With that said, you are a mama’s boy through and through and take some time to warm up to people who want to hold you. If we’re out, you don’t like it when I go out of your sight.
Your smile is contagious. You get so much attention grocery shopping because you flirt with everyone. The old ladies just eat you up! You wave and play peek-a-boo, making everyone’s day.
You *do* have a temper and throw yourself and scream an ear-piercing scream when things don’t go your way. Whew. Your scream is intense. Let’s not let this go beyond toddlerhood, mmmK?
You love reading. You only will sit through short books now, but touch-and-feel books and ones that make noise {or mama does voices} are your current favorites.
You laugh at a lot of things, but dogs {and any animal, really}, balloons and tickles are your favorite reasons.

Since the first time we learned you were a little man, you have brought great joy to our lives. Thank you for helping me to learn about boys and deepen my adoration for daddy in the process.

Cheers on your first birthday my little love. I have no doubt the year ahead will be one filled with continued learning, joy, and sMiles. We can’t wait to witness the miracle that is watching you grow into a little boy.

Love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

To My Daughter On Her Third Birthday {Karina}

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Dearest Karina,

As I think about what to type in this year’s birthday letter, I can’t help but get tears in my eyes. It sure has been a year, baby girl! So many ups, so many downs. So.Much.Fun.

Today you are three.

If there is one thing I have learned during your second year, it’s to never underestimate you.

When language issues started showing up last year, I went into mama bear mode trying to figure out ways to help you speak better. After months of visits with Early On Michigan, we saw lots of improvement. Turns out really you just needed time. You are constantly surprising us, Kar, and I’m sure this is just foreshadowing on the many surprises you have in store for us.

The biggest surprise this year has been potty training. After having a hard time with your sister, I dragged my feet and let you decide when you were ready. Much to my delight, once you had it in your mind that you wanted to wear underware, you were trained pretty quickly. Hearing you tell everyone how you went potty and seeing the pride beam from your face has filled me with such joy.

With that said, just saying you are just a stubborn toddler doesn’t quite fit. Honestly, you’re a whole ‘nother level of stubborn; you are unshakable. No amount of punishment can make you cave…ever. And believe me, we’ve tried everything.

Daddy has a saying for you: You’re either going to be a total success or a convict. He doesn’t say it to be mean; It’s simply the truth. A buzz term for stubborn kids these days is spirited. I love that term because it completely fits you. It’s not that you are a bad kid…You’re just opinionated. This trait often angers me, but really, you are just.like.me. We just don’t give up until we get our way, right? I cling to the hope that this trait will pay off for you down the road, like it has for me.

Thankfully, you are one of the most loving children ever, too. Just when daddy and I are getting fired up over something you did, you show us this intense love. You grab my face and kiss it, ask for cuddles, beg me to sleep in your bed, tell me you love me and that I’m your best friend. You are full of heart melt moments. I thank God for those times because it’s what gets us through the tough days.

At this moment in time, you are very much your own little person. Following in your sister’s footsteps, you don’t have a speck of pink in your blood. You have zero interest in dolls or princesses, preferring to hoard tiny plastic animals, Thomas the Tank Engine and minions. You can often be found digging in the dirt and collecting pinecones and rocks outside. And you love everything about farm life, especially cows.

You rarely let me dress you these days and often look like a hot mess wearing multi patterns and sweat pants in July, but you’re happy, and could care less what anyone thinks of you. I hope you never lose sight of who you are, which so far, is definitely an original.

Your favorite color is green, which is funny because you love money and will do just about anything for it, including sweeping the floor, cleaning your room and helping with laundry. You are my little helper, and I really appreciate it. We joke we need to get you a job because you are extremely sensory-driven and love busy work. I have no doubt in my mind about you working hard in life. You’ve got it down already, sweetie!

You also have a wicked sense of humor. Daddy and I are convinced you may be a class clown one day since you love the attention you get when you say funny things. You are particularly sassy with your aunt Whitney and listening to the two of you banter is hysterical. I never knew a 3-year-old could have so much sarcasm.

At bedtime, there’s nothing more you love than to read books and have a family hug. You always request I sing the Shrek song {Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright} followed by Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. You are a girl of routine and we definitely try our best to stick with what works for you.

It has been an absolute blast watching you grow this year, Kar-Bar. I’m excited to see who you’ll become one day, but for now, I’m doing my best to soak in every stage — even the tough ones.

I love you to the moon and back, times infinity.

Kisses,

Mama

Letters To My Children: Miles at 6 Months

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I confess: Miles turned 6 months old on February 7th, so I’m a little behind. Cut me some slack…I’m a little busy raising 3 little humans 😉

Dear Miles,

You are six months old — YAY! I am very torn about this milestone since you are my last baby. I am cherishing every single day because I know you will grow-up overnight soon. I absolutely LOVE this age. Shoot, I think I just love babies because every new stage makes me happy. But you make it especially enjoyable with your infectious smile and very obvious love for me.

So about you…sMiles is proving to be the perfect nickname because you seriously smile constantly, unless your diaper is wet {you hate that}, you need to eat for the umpteenth time in a day, or you can’t see me. You are a mama’s boy, but really, you love attention from just about anyone. Doesn’t matter if it’s me or a crazy old person at the grocery store — you are usually willing to perform with smiles on the spot.

We’ve started introducing solids, but are taking it slow. You are curious about my food, but still are nursing quite frequently, so we’re just sort of following a baby led approach. Speaking of nursing, you are my second child to refuse taking a bottle. Makes going out a tad complicated, but instead of stressing this time around, I’m just reminding myself this isn’t going to last forever.

As far as other milestones go, you roll from belly to back and are sitting up for short periods of time. No teeth in sight, despite constant drooling and mouthing everything. I love to call you “grabby mcgee” because you grab everything you can get your little hands on. Your favorite is my straw when I drink water. You are starting to hold a sippy cup and have loved having your own water, even if most of it ends up on you. [Read more…]

How I Incorporated The Power of Touch

Conclusion

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Daughter 1:

Daughter 2:

To both of my girls: I hope you stay weird.

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Six is being an amazing sibling.

Six is having a BIG heart.

Six is loving music.

Six is having a random passion…Like newborn babies.

Six is loving to learn…and loving potty humor.

Six is finally eating adult foods.

Six is letting go, but waiting in the wings.

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Parenting is…

Equal parts maddening and heart-tugging.

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Dear Miles,

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You are smart.

You are beautiful — inside and out.

You are challenging.

You are full of passion.

You are my pride and joy.

KINLEY, Age 5

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Dear Miles,

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